I consider myself allowed to make these. One, it is my site. Two I have played more gigs and played more drums than most folks have had hot meals.
Please accept these in the spirit they are offered. Serious drum shit …
The New (Old) Drum Rules
If you have a 4 pc kit – tom, floor tom, bass and snare…buy a tom mount. Unless you are some really old drummer in New orleans or stuck in an army barracks and have to whip up a make shift kit … you can afford a tom mount. What? You don’t want to drill your bass drum? It is a fucking bass drum, not Chippendale furniture. Put a mount on it. Oh, Levon and Charlie get a pass on this. If your name is neither, Levon, nor Charlie… buy a mount. And Toms hung from cymbal stands suck too. Buy a mount.
Drum gloves are appropriate if:
- You are handling hazardous waste, shucking oysters, cracking lobsters or fixing the barbed wire fence during a gig. Otherwise – take the fucking gloves off Nancy!
Drum shoes. I won’t even go there. Buy some shoes, break em in, wear until new shoes are required. Drum shoes are like wearing a Zildjian shirt to a drum clinic.
Drink holders. What???? You can’t find some Babe to hold your beer? You, my friend, are not a drummer. Take up the bass.
Leave your God-damned shirt on. Ok! Nuff said.
Unless you actually marched, like for real in DCI or similar, do not do instructions on rudiments. It looks awful, sounds worse and well, you simply can’t play em anyway. Stick to set instruction. Or not?
Speaking of instruction … So, Skippy, you got yourself a neat lil video camera and have it set up in your Mom’s basement and are now doing comprehensive, intensive, drum instruction vids??? Don’t. Please don’t.
However, if you do some You Tube instruction, keep your yapping down to a minimum. Like 10 seconds per minute. I am not interested in the Gospel according to Skippy. OK?
Travis Barker sucks. That’s the rule.
The You Tube videos of “The Best 10 Drummers of All Time” are linked to a corollary. The guy that did them has never drummed in front of people, and last time he was inside a woman was the Statue of Liberty. No such list. If you drum. You rock.
Don’t bring your girlfriend to your gig. She has better shit to do. So do you!
Change your heads. Often. And change em more often than your underwear. Think about that for a moment.
One cymbal for every tom. That’s it. Sorry. Twenty cymbals means you are a drum geek.
And last rule … there are no rules. You, my friend, if none of these apply, are a drummer. You do not need rules.